Brenda Perlin, We are delighted to have you with us, to know you a little, we would like to hear from you about the things that you think are unique about you, what type of people would you like to meet, for instance?
Brenda Perlin Hello. Thank you for having me on your show Shah. I am excited to share my story Home Wrecker with you and other readers.
My life is getting better all of the time. I have gone through so much in the last several years so it is nice to be able to sit back a little and relax. I have gone through so many changes that my life doesn't really feel like my own... but I am adjusting to these changes. Lucky for me I have met a man that makes my heart skip a beat. Other than having your health, I have learned, there is NOTHING better than having love in your life.
That being said I think I am unique because I have gone through so much so I khow I can survive. I think I have a more open heart because of it. I love all kinds of people and that is why I have enjoyed Facebook so much. I have met so many nice new friends like Lisa Day, Samantha Fury, Paige Bleu, Kyzcy, Natalie from NarlyNut's Reviews, John who wrote Love seen from Hell and so many others. It has been a great experience. So guess I am saying I have already met people that I would like to meet!
Shah Fazli How does your story with Home Wrecker begin, what do we read at the very start?
Brenda Perlin I was physically attacked by a woman who didn’t even know me.
Yes, my boyfriend was her former husband, but she tried to ruin me.
While she was not my worst nemesis, I have had plenty of opposition from others. Yet she caused me plenty of grief during a time when I didn’t have the energy for anymore negativity. Throughout my life,
I’ve had many disappointments, survived many losses and had more than my share of sorrow. I had my expectations crushed repeatedly, yet I was still optimistic and believed there were good things to come.
Shah Fazli Why Home Wrecker, describe the title please?
Brenda Perlin I got the title Home Wrecker from one of my ex mother in law’s best friends. She used to call me Home Wrecker because she didn’t like all the attention I was getting from the elderly men at Leisure World. At that time, the thought of me being anything but a good girl seemed absurd. I really was the girl next door.
Even though this is a true life story, I call Home Wrecker a fiction book to only to protect everyone whether they are innocent or guilty.
I first started writing my book because I needed to find something that would make me seem busy. My husband at the time thought I should work harder. I was just turning thirty and was engaged to be married. I thought I would write about what a crock the wedding business was. I wanted to highlight how you can get suckered into spending, unnecasarily.
After the wedding I put my story away. Then 16 years or so later when I was leaving my husband I decided to pick this story back up. There were many circumstances that led me to let it all out in the open. I won’t give the whole story away but I think my husband got what he deserved.
Shah Fazli Tell us a little about the things that happen in the book please?
Brenda Perlin When I left my marriage everything exploded around me. My quiet life became drama filled and unpredictable. I tried to stay with my husband because I had made the commitment. I knew there would be a great fallout if I ever walked away. I thought I owed it to him to stay even though I was not happy. I am not even sure that he was so happy. I just knew he didn’t want to be another casualty of divorce like his parents. For me, I didn’t think it would be right that I leave because I owed him. After he nursed me back to health while I was sick I believed I had to stay with him.
I think he also thought that was enough reason for me to stay. When I started talking about leaving he was in total disbelief. It caught him by surprise. Up until then, he was too busy working ten hour days to even notice things had changed. Because he went far and beyond to care for me through illness, I believe he assumed I was always going to be around and that he could always count on me to stay faithful. By then he started to take me and our relationship for granted.
He must have thought caring for me as he did gave him a little extra leverage and a guarantee I would stick with him.
Shah Fazli Thank you so much, what do you think a reader would feel after reading your book please?
Brenda Perlin I would hope they would have some compassion and not be so judgemental. I hope they will realize how blessed they are. You just can't take ANYTHING for granted!
Shah Fazli Thanks, what do people say after reading your book?
Brenda Perlin I have heard "wow" a lot. Even from family members. I guess people are surprised by some of the events that took place after I left my husband. I hope the people that have read it got something good out of it.
Shah Fazli Thanks, what do you like about your book the most, the fact that you have written your life story, or anything else?
Brenda Perlin I really like that I was able to tell my story and share it with anyone that was interested enough to read about it. It makes me feel so happy to have been able to bring my parents back to life because they really were good parents...mistakes and all.
When I fell in love with this man I met at my gym I wanted to shout it out on top of rooftops so I guess this is my way of doing just that. Also, it was a bit fun and naughty at the same time to have the last word. Revenge is sweet!
Shah Fazli Share a few sad moments of the book with us please?
Brenda Perlin Well, here I will share a quote from my childhood. Not the saddest part of my story but right up there.
I was most likely the youngest person to obtain a prescription for Valium. At the time, I couldn’t have been much more than nine yearsold. It was then that I started getting a nervous twitch in my eye. I was still not sure what I was so uptight about, but I remember thinking I would continue to twitch the rest of my life. I really poured on the drama, making my mother feel terrible. After all, she felt responsible for the entire family’s happiness. That had to be the biggest burden, putting everyone before you.
Anyway, my nervousness affected me in many ways. For one
thing, I started putting on weight. I was by no means fat, just a little on the chubby side. I can remember from early on that the doctor refused to give me a lollipop because of my new weight problem, but my sister Ellen got one.
I was a kid and I was already worrying about my diet. It made me very self conscious. I didn’t really understand it, but it stigmatized me. I spent endless afternoons after school in front of the TV set by myself, usually stuffing my face with food. I ate to pass the time before dinner. It was probably the loneliest time of my life. Finally, my mother sent me off to fat camp, not knowing what else to do.
Shah Fazli And what happened in the gym after you met the man, can you describe your feelings for us please, what was it like?
Brenda Perlin I was not used to feeling the way that he made me feel. I had been married for so long and had never even thought of another man and then something just happened. I did not expect it but it has changed my life for the better. It has been a rough road which you can read in the story but I would still do what I did. I don't think there was any way around it. I am not proud of everything that I did but it had to happen and for that I am thankful.
Shah Fazli Thank you, can you read from your book please?
Brenda Perlin My gym was now filled with many of these new singles. Their stories all sounded very similar and even where I lived in the local apartments. it was like divorce central. I called it “the new divorce” because it seemed to be so prevalent there. I had such high expectations moving into this perfect planned community. It seemed too good to be true.
I remember hearing from a local firefighter friend that these things were happening all over. It was not just this development, it was becoming an epidemic. These new custom made, big brother type communities made it almost inevitable for things to fall apart. Our expectations were not realistic. Utopia clearly cannot exist, even if you try to build it. It may have looked good on the outside, but when people
are involved, there is always room for abuse.
You can own the best house, have the most beautiful wife and drive the nicest car, but still it may not be enough. There can be too much temptation and all the plans get flushed down the toilet.
All I knew for sure was that I was another casualty of this silly
environment. We moved here with the best intentions. Divorce was not even in our vocabulary.
This very easy divorce had become very difficult. I thought I was
in the express lane and it was all fast tracks from there. Think again. I sure got that wrong. Here was another one of my mistakes. I used to think I had good common sense and I prided myself on that. Now I questioned that aspect of my personality. I was certainly lacking in judgment, without a doubt. Subject closed!
I knew I made a joke out of our marriage, but he had gone far
and beyond to break me on every level. I didn’t think he would stop until he had succeeded in taking away any happiness I had found. He wanted to destroy me. His ego and intense desire for revenge was something deeply imbedded in his personality. He carried a lot ofrage and would l look for payback toward anyone who crossed him.
Shah Fazli Thank you, who are in your book apart from you and your husband, who else plays any role in the book?
Brenda Perlin Please repeat...
Shah Fazli Can you name a few more people who are in the book apart from you and your husband?
Brenda Perlin Thank you for that. Well, my best girlfriend is in the first part of the book quite a bit. I also go back to my childhood so there are many family members and friends. I can't forget about my friends from the punk rock days! I had to get them in the story!
Maybe you want to know more about the person who tried to attack me...well you will have to read the book for that!!!
Shah Fazli Thanks, can you describe one or two scenes of the book for us in your own words, it can be anything or any scene, where was it, what happened?
Brenda Perlin Well there is a chapter that I did about my sisters husband. I was I think fourteen at the time. It does not put him in a very good light. I had the choice to take it out or keep it in and I chose to roll with it even though it could hurt some people. The thing is, I have not set out to hurt anyone but I thought that story needed to stay in there. It happened and I felt it was important to get it all out in the open.
Shah Fazli Thank you, what is your message to your readers, and what is your tips for new writers?
Brenda Perlin I would say my message is to never judge a book by it's cover. Before you can judge anyone else you have to know what it feels like to have walked in their shoes. My tips for writers would be go with what you believe and don't stick with a publisher if they don't do right by you.
Shah Fazli We certainly enjoyed reading about your true life story, thanks once again for being our guest. See you soon.
Shah Fazli Visit: http://shahsightshop.blogspot.de/2012/09/home-wrecker-brenda-perlin.html
ShahSight Literary Book Shop: Home Wrecker - Brenda Perlinshahsightshop.blogspot.com
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Brenda Perlin Thank you again for your kindness. I hope this will get my author friends to come in and talk with you too. Here are a couple of links for Home Wreckerhttp://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=brenda+perlin
Paige Bleu Great interview Brenda!!!
Jessica Kong Brenda, awesome interview. Now you got me to want to read your book. Any free promotions coming up?
John Emil Augustine :) Brenda
Brenda Perlin :-)
Yvonne McEvaddy great interview Brenda:-)